All good things come to those who wait...

My mother used to say this to me. As a child I simply didn't believe it and thought it was only grown ups who understood and used such sayings, but when I did finally grew up I made a decision (only a few years back) to live life at a pace I could define myself. Not completely related to the title of this blog, but as I progress you'll see what I mean.

So my decision basically resulted in me deciding to rid myself of the stresses and expectations of others, including my sometimes perfectionistic self and aim only for goals which were realistically achievable. (No "realistically achievable" is not superfluous because my charachter tends to lean towards goals which are achievable, but not always realistic)

A small example could be demonstrated this morning when I took Otis and Jasmin to school. We arrived early and so I kissed Jasmin goodbye and progressed further with Otis to the junior building. Otis' classroom is on the top floor, so it a 4 storey climb every morning for us. - keeps us fit, that's for sure! We part after I have settled him in the classroom and kissed him goodbye and I make my way to Swordfish.

Via central station I buy myself a cappuccino to go, add sugar, stir for a good 3 minutes and head towards the tram stop. On my arrival I see hordes of people waiting. The trams are delayed and people are agitated. When the tram finally arrives everyone crams in the tram in a frenzy. They look like sardines in a can or even worse cattle heading towards the market.

My composure is relaxed and I see no challenge in joining the madness afterall I have my cappuccino. I search my pockets for a cigarette and decide peacefully to myself that I will wait until the next tram comes. The sardines and cattle pull away and in the distance I see the next tram approaching but I'm only half way smoking my cigarette and it's a good smoke so I say again to myself "ah well, I'll wait".

Just 2 minutes later the 3rd tram arrives (now 3 trams have appeared within a period of 5 minutes). The trams stops. A few people step in and the doors close. The tram is pretty much empty. I remain calm and take the last 2 tokes of my cigarette and another sip of my cappuccino. I'm ultra relaxed and feel no pressure to hurry. But now my smoke is finished so I put my cigarette out, slowly grab a copy of the Spits newspaper and head towards the doors of the tram. They open, I greet the conductor and find a seat. 30 seconds later the tram departs. I continue my journey to Swordfish.

Is this an example of the laws of attraction? Or simply, as my mother used to say that "All good things come to those who wait".

Change , for change's sake

Every now and then it's important for us to reinvent ourselves. Yes, change is a good thing. We have a hard time of it, but it's the only thing constant and guaranteed in this life. Why we cannot find solace in this remains a puzzle for us all, as we know it will come again. What's odd is that we're able to accept and adjust to some of the worst things which life throws at us, such as povety, unhappiness and crime, but not to change. Don't tell me that the reason why change is so difficult is because we don't know what is going to happen. Of course we do.... We know that something unexpected is abound. We know that we will have to re-organise and that a change in ourselves, our structures, our lives is inevitable. So why don't we embrace it?

Actively seeking change prevents complacency - don't confuse this with the saying 'If it ain't broke then don't try and fix it' that's not quite the same and in my opinion not to be used in personal development, but it does ensure growth, improvement and new directions. It doesn't always have to be top of mind and it should never be forced. If actively reinventing yourself is diffcult try to dwell upon a spot of self-reflection - the catalyst to change. Self reflection helps us recognise that something new, however subtle or small is on the horizon; our personal development plan kicked in by our psyche, in need of a long awaited shake-up, perhaps...

So now that you've emerged into the second working week of 2010, ensure that you take time for self-reflection to welcome a spot of change.

What does being successful mean? - Part I

STOP! BEFORE READING THE FOLLOWING. CHOOSE UP TO 6 WORDS/SITUATIONS THAT ANSWER THE ABOVE QUESTION. REMEMBER TO CHOOSE THE FIRST 6 WORDS WHICH COME INTO YOUR HEAD (write them down if necessary).

When you're ready, select the area between ...

(here)

- Good-high earnings/job
- A modern car,
- Great house/penthouse
- Minimum of 2 holidays per year
- Financial stability
....and social life to match.

(and here, to reveal my answers)

So you probably came up with a few or more of these answers or similar, and who would blame you?
I know from within my group of friends that the definition of success would be similar. Why? because success often means status and a high status would fall under having/owning most of the above attributes which consquently means you have money if you are successful.

In realising this, we could say that success, according to the above definition, is external. The list has nothing to do with ourselves you see. It's purely a way of showing others how many expensive items we have been able to purchase over a period of time. Success exists therefore only if others can confirm it? If there is no one to see your success, then are you still sucessful? Think about it, nobody says " Wow, I'm so successful" about themselves. We say it about others. We see the BMW, the Rolex, gold credit cards and the lifestyle and confirm that these are the things which mark and define success. If you do not have these things or nobody can see them you simply are not successful.

Yeah, it's quite shallow, but also a reality for the majority of people.

I don't think success is any of these things. Not one on the list in fact. I don't think success needs to be confirmed by others - if this were so, it would make it as weak as it is powerful. On top of this and at the forefront, I don't believe that success is or should be made easy, in fact it should be down right hard and difficult for us to achieve. Of course there is a reason for this too.

To be continued...